Who Is The Most Unfortunate Person On Earth?

I wonder who the most unfortunate person on Earth is. I'd like to meet this person just so that I could be reminded of how blessed I am to be an American and live in the greatest nation on God's green Earth. But then I started thinking and that's always a bad thing(especially for liberals). The ironic thing is I have to think like a liberal to come up with some of these questions.

What qualities must you have and what qualifies you to be the most unfortunate person on earth(who we will abbreviate from now on to be UPOE so I don't have to type it again)? Is it their economic situation? Health? Spirituality? Physical pain?

Obviously, I myself would start with the fact that if you don't believe in God, and are going to Hell, you are pretty unfortunate. I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that but my Bible is pretty clear in saying that a minimum qualification of passing through the pearly gates is a belief in the God who created you. Call me judgmental if you must.

But does going to Hell really make you the most UPOE?

What about monetary wealth? Obviously you're pretty unfortunate if you have none. And there are plenty of people who do have none. But I don't know. I've met plenty of completely broke people(especially in other countries) that are happier than rich people here in the States.

What about health? Here in the States, once again, we like to argue over health insurance and government responsibility over us and so forth. If you get cancer with no health insurance maybe you could get close to being the most UPOE.

Physical pain? People who are in constant physical pain could also qualify. I'm not so sure about that either.

And then I was sitting one day in my house and the air conditioner broke down. I realized something. Despite my relative wealth and the fact that God loves me and I have great health care here in the U.S. and I'm not in constant physical pain means something.

I'm hot and miserable so I am the most UPOE. I win.